by Dr. Marcel Hernandez, ND
Oh Dear! Here we are again at New Year’s Eve – and we all know what that means. In a very nasty, unwelcome, and ultimately unhelpful single word – Guilt.
Why aren’t we better than we are? Why haven’t we changed? What do we really want to change in ourselves and in our lives, anyway?
Say – I think we’ve hit on something! Aha! We’ve said another big, important word. How can we leap across the giant chasm between Resistance and Change? What’s the secret of crossing the gap?
In a brilliant book about values, Out of the Labyrinth: For Those Who Want to Believe, But Can’t, J. Donald Walters makes a wonderful case for something that we all, actually, already know.
There’s a saying: “A person persuaded against his will is of the same opinion still.” (This adage may derive from Samuel Butler’s ]1612-1680] 17th-century poem “Hudibras.”)
In Walters’s book he suggests that when it comes to change, we should be realistic and honest with ourselves. Ultimately, he says, we should never aspire to better ourselves until we know, WITH SURE INNER KNOWING, that it’s the thing we want to do.
Elsewhere, Walters talked about how he gave up smoking as a young man. He decided one day that he wanted to stop smoking. But, of course, he knew that it would be silly to try to do so on a sudden whim.
Instead, he told himself that by the end of a year – and surely by the end of five years – he would not be smoking!
During the months that followed, he continually fed his desire to be free of the cigarette habit. He studied the gruesome medical consequences of smoking. He visualized how much better he would feel if he wasn’t smoking. He thought about his filthy lungs, and the loss of his youthful athletic capacity.
He invited a higher power to strengthen his resolve. He talked with people who’d given it up, and he turned over in his mind his images of how he, too, would be so much healthier and happier (and wealthier).
He reported that at the end of the year, he got up in the morning and suddenly knew, WITH A SURE INNER KNOWING, that he would never smoke again.
He kept the few remaining cigarettes in the last pack to hand out to friends. They all scoffed and laughed when he announced that he’d quit. But he knew. And so it proved. Quitting was easy. He had passed the tipping point where his desire to quit had overwhelmed his desire to continue.
He said that he had a few dreams in which he was enjoying a cigarette – but he was free.
Our well-intentioned New Year’s Resolutions and affirmations involve change – and, as well know, change is hard, because we’ve grown comfortable traveling on the same tracks we’ve laid down long ago, and that we’ve been rolling along for a very long time.
The key to change, as we saw in Walters’s story, is to focus continuously on the positive results. Want to become fit? Imagine yourself able to carry heavy shopping bags effortlessly and bounding up flights of stairs with joyful ease.
For years, Dr. Connie and I have had a crystal bowel filled with little cards imprinted with words of positive wisdom and aspiration: vulnerability, passion, harmony, friendship, joy, etc.
There are about a hundred and fifty cards in the bowl. When I draw out a card, I think about the quality that it suggests, and I make it a focus for the day.
One morning when I drew a card, I was startled when another card jumped out with it. The two cards were “Stability” and “Change.” Hmm, how’s that for a contradiction? Yet for the rest of the day my thoughts turned to “stability” and ‘change” and how they relate to my field, which is health. I found it useful to reflect on how our bodies have wonderful mechanisms for adapting to change, and for holding steady.
An ancient Latin saying tells us that all creation is changing, and that the only thing we can rely on is change. You might think that we’d have gotten the point by now and learned to adapt, like world-class skiers gracefully bending, swooping, and swerving as the slope demands.
We all yearn for stability — a place where we can be still, calm, and recover and rest for a while. Alas, except in the movies, that kind of stability simply doesn’t exist, at least not for long.
The wise teachers of East and West are unanimous in warning us that everything in this creation will eventually mutate, gravitate, and morph into its opposite. For every up, there’s an inevitable down.
The one place where we can find the stability we’re seeking, so the sages tell us, is within. We’ve all met people, whether in real life, the movies, or in books, who’ve somehow acquired exceptional skill in the art of remaining calm, centered, focused, calm, accepting and compassionate amidst even the most frightening outward upheavals.
There are many paths to achieve that kind of inner poise and freedom. Meditation, of course, is the science and art, par excellence, for achieving it – and much more. For when we are able to still the restless longings of the heart, so we are told, we find an unsuspected source of boundless happiness and joy opening inside us. This is the ultimate science of life.
The little cards in the crystal bowl help us in many ways. When we start our day by dwelling on positive thoughts and feelings, we are pre-programming our heart and brain to perpetuate and spread healthy patterns in our encounters throughout the day. We’ve discovered that it’s a very powerful way to set ourselves up to be the people we deeply want and aspire to be: kind, compassionate, strong in friendship and service.
New Year’s resolutions can help, if we know – for sure! – that they’re what we’re ready to work on. But what concerns me is making resolutions that can change us from within, on all five levels of our being: body, heart, will, mind, and soul. I’m interested in the kind of true, lasting change that comes when we grow in awareness – when our consciousness expands.
Here are some thoughts on how we can make this kind of life- transforming change of consciousness.
Embrace change consciously. When we resist change, we soon feel that we may have missed a train that could have taken us to wonderful places, and that we’ve been left behind. We’ve died a little bit, perhaps not physically, but emotionally and spiritually. Success comes by not wavering, but seizing the opportunities that we’re offered.
When we welcome change, we are carried by a dynamic flow of earth energy that nourishes and sustains us and makes us feel vital and alive. Take a deep breath in the midst of seeming chaos, and know that “This too shall pass.”
Learn to Adapt. Humans have a God-given unique ability to adapt quickly to external challenges and to mold our environment. No other species can survive in polar and tropical regions, by designing systems and integrating into very disparate surroundings.
Brainwash yourself before someone nasty beats you to it! (This thought is from Rob Brezsny.) Healthy patterns are established by repetition. Start out in the morning with a positive affirmation, a prayer, an Angel Card, an inspirational reading – anything that focuses your thoughts and actions in an uplifting direction. Try to stay in this uplifted state throughout the day. Don’t force it – want it. Find the positive affirmations that touch you.
Express gratitude. No matter what’s happening, try to focus your attention on the blessings and joy that surround you. Let others know how thankful you are for the parts they have played in your life. Do this every day.
Stay open-minded. Release the concept that your own reality is all there is. Try to see the world through other people’s eyes. This will carry you gracefully into the next suggestion:
Most of all, be as kind as you can be to all beings. Paramahansa Yogananda said, “Kindness is the light that dissolves all walls between souls, families and nations.” It’s also a great secret to tapping wonderful feelings of love and joy that are always present and that want to flow into and through you. “The channel is blessed by that which flows through it.” – Paramhansa Yogananda
May the blessings of Self-realization and peace flow through you and bless the Earth. Have a transformative, uplifting 2025!
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